My life review

Day0

Hear me out a bit. Something happened in my life that open a door for me. Because of it, now I know that its possible to fix my self, but I still don't know how. For me, to be able to achieve a healthy mind, I will need to execute hard experiment to my body and mind for the result I wish so badly to happen. No more mister nice guys.

This his gonna be a full life change, because I want to help myself by fronting my fear, and in the process maybe helping you.

So here it is my life in your hand, for every one to see. I will explain where I came from so that maybe you can diagnose the problem and find concrete solution but just don’t want to test because it take time.

My life. Now 31 of age I have ADHD without they hyperactivity. I have so much anxiety that I can lose my job in 3 weeks, and don’t really know what I did bad, or not. Whats really not funny, is you can see the job slipping away. Luckily, I am good at getting a job now because of this. But that's not something I am proud of, I want stability. And now, I don’t work because, I know that's gonna keep happening...shish.

So I can't work because I have problem of anxiety, plus my ADD his amplifying everything. I have the same problem if returning to college. I guess you heard this one a lot. You are already thinking its social anxiety or performance anxiety. Well, maybe and maybe it is a bit of all, plus more..

I do have all the symptom, the fear of being scrutinized, judged, or embarrassed. Afraid that people will think badly of you, fear I won’t measure up. There his one wrong thing about it, I like to be with people. I like to speak my mind, make friends and socialize. So, should it affect me? Is it possible to be social Anxiety and willingly be with people? I am the type that will go to the disco and have fun, or go to as new restaurant just to see how it his.

I have much to say in detail, but to sum up my life, I had no friends at school, I have no regret now, it's the past, yes it suck, but what can I do about the pass then learn from it. School was hard, m’y grade was affected by my loneliness, and ADHD. I did not have sex before 25 and a steady beautiful girlfriend for 1 years. In the look department, 6 feet tall, nice teeth, hair OK and I dress well. But the big problem is in the weight. I weigh 135 pound, that's 40 under the normal weight. Eating a lot plus exercise don’t change a thing, its genetic. I will confront this subject to. And by the way, being skinny is worse then being overweight. Overweight you can stop eating. For now, that's all I have to say that relevant for this subject.

Knowing that, I have to go to they extreme and change, my way of thinking and living. A commitment to completely be able to live my dream. That is being able not only to function, but surpass my expectation. Be able to have any friend and girl friend that I want, no anxiety at all, good job, have a excellent communication skill with every one and have optimize health. If you think about it, I will be able to say anything the right way on-the-fly, that will have they affect of being understood. It's not gonna be easy.

Miracle solution

At age 25 , when i had cancer(leukemia,) it was when i was the most happiest time in my entire life. I did lose my hair, I did vomit, had headache, took12 pills a day and left in a room for one month isolated. Remember before the cancer, that i use to be uncool, school extremely hard and girl unreachable. But despite all of this, in the middle of the treatment, I was happy because I could do anything I wanted. I was able to speak on the fly. Remembering anything I known or heard of, even if it was long time ago. My righting was so good, that people think I was from a top university. The most impressive thing was, that I could meet any women and have her for me. I had so many women, that I had to control what I was saying so they don't feel attraction to myself. I had complete control of my environment, family, friend, girls, they all like me, respect me. I known that I could learn anything whit ease. University seem easy, even fun.

So in my happy time miracle, I was thinking, great its gonna stay this way for ever. But then, life hit me hard again. I could see it slipping away slowly. Like being on drug and coming out of it.
So what could it be? I have 4 possibility.

1. Its the drugs.
   
2. The drug activated something, I did not have before like mineral or vitamins, so that the body work optimally.
3. I was intensively doing self improvement to my self.
4. I had no pressure from no one and had all they attention from everyone. No responsibility that mean no stress at all. Just thinking off my health.
   

Many strategy for the first day

Day1
Reminder
I thought about what to do, to have the best result. and in the book secret, it tell me to put something on your wall for you to remind yourself every day. Well i took that concept and I right on it, Don’t care of what people think off you. i put straight in front of my computer 3 feet long.


Sleep
In the same time, I decided to sleep at the right time, whatever good movie there is, or whatever I am doing. P.S. friends at home its OK to stay late. So from now on, 11 PM in my bed, and 8 AM max in the morning. The concept is for my body to get less stress from abnormal time sleep.


Medication
Went to the doctor for Stratera, the medication work fine if you concentrate for one work in the day and whey all know that well have 100 things to do in the day. So i limited myself to 1 principal thing and 2 mini work.





Waste no time
The hardest is now this. No TV, no game, no looking around the net, waste of time, it wont relaxed me. It make me feel sad after I finish the hole day looking at TV(yes the hole day because we need completion) because i could have done something better. Its call remorse, if you fell it for this, you know what to do, just do it.

Meditate

Use meditation at lease one’s time a day for 10 min no interruption. Meditation is boring, feel like time wasted, but it work like magic. Its great, if the way it’s meant to be use, here how, don’t think in the pass and don’t thing in the future. Just feel the present, hear the bird, the rain or the wind, they don’t bring bad emotion or interruption. They are some excellent sound digitalize you can find online.

The job

Day2

The job
Today is a big day, I need money to pay my bill, and be able to concentrate into this important project. So what i am going to do, is try and find a under the table job. I would work killing people if I would be ask to, or sale drugs, it does not matter to me, nothing really bother me in that area.

I am not ready to find a job, but its has to be this way unfortunately. They only other way is that you help me whit donation to see how far I will be able to fix this. I will make a pay-pal donation. I just don’t know how yet.

So, if you have bills, pay them now, remove this anxiety as fast as you can. If you like the job your doing, and it pay, keep it. If you hate it, and it pay great, keep it.
P.S. Don't by any stuff, that you don’t really REALY need.

• Find a job -------------- not done
• paypal active----------- not done
  

Be confidante

Day3

Confidence
From now on, I will make decision on the fly to show confidence. I will imagine that i am Superman, by holding myself straight, walk like him, talk slower, sit straight, head hold high. Think you better then the rest but don't tell. See the world has it is, small and insignificant, a hopeless world.

That should fix many of my personality problem. When I was looking in to self help program, confidence fix issues like boundaries, self esteem and maturity. I ask my self what is the fastest way to achiever this? I can imagine you are and you will become it. Now to remember this, i need some kind of reminder. Maybe a stainless steel bracelet of Superman.

Or a king

I try the superman thing, it work like magic, but thinking that you are a king work much better. Thinking what a king would do like, never order people, make them want to do what you want. Speak slowly, listen and reflect, make decision, be confidence so that they have confidence, no your enemy, don't speak for nothing. look straight in front of you, have THE LOOK, ets.

Optimal body

Having a optimal body is not a simple thing to do. A balance body is not that important if you don't have any psychological, health or body problem. Just feeling sleepy all the time is a sign that your body is not well. Here are my symptoms.

• Sleep, fatigue, tiredness,sleep excessively, waking up tired,
• Inability to stay awake
  
• spacey(mental fogginess)
• Neck ache
• Unproductive at work
• Bad mental awareness
• Hair loss
• Some part of depression
• Anxiety
• Facial fatigue
  

Even if there are not the same, this set of vitamins and mineral will give you a optimal brain and body.

* Acid Lipoid--------15 mg-----10$
* Silicium----------------3mg------44$----Vitasil
* Vit D------------------450 uI
* Vit B------------------100mg-------33$----SuSu b complex
* Vit k-------------------50mcg
* Vit E (d-alpha,gma,toco)---400 uI
* Vit C (calcium magnés,pot,zinc)----1000
* Caroténoide-------------mix-------20$
* Complex mineral------250ml-----24$----concentrace
* Boron--------------------2mg-------6$----Twinlab
* Glutathione(gsh) --------10mg-----69$-----Gsh complex
* CoQ10------------------100mg-----17$-----Sisu
* Complet mineral-------mix
* Grape seed extracte---200mg----33$-----Flora

+ Brain

* Trimethylycine---------200mg
* Inositol-----------------150mg
* Choline----------------100mg


Whats important here, is that they are all natural product, no synthetic. There a lot off miss information on naturals and synthetic products. Its true the government say that taking vitamin are a waste of money, but that's because they use synthetic product to test. You can usually find natural product in glass bottle and/or made in gel capsule. Take them in meals, that's gonna give you a better absorption. Usually taking only one pill you will absorb 8% compare to 60% if you take them combine. Total off this will cost you 200$ for 3 months then around 100$ every month. Heavyer dose will be require, because your maybe already very sick.
I'm gonna start this as soon I have the money.